Skyrim review... *shudders*

Hello Gamers!

Let’s talk about Skyrim.

I think this is a perfect game

… For me to rip a new one into the fabric of gaming.

Yes, I don’t care what you say about Skyrim I will forever hate it.

“What do you hate about it Leif?” You might ask, well many things make me want to find every copy of this game and destroy them, but I’ll start out with the big ones.

I find the opening scene far too long, and the story is honestly boring.

It’s at least five to ten minutes, three of which you’re sitting in a cart, unable to move your body or your head. I found this very claustrophobic and annoying.

Once you get out of the cart, you get even more dialogue. To the point I actually fell asleep playing the game.

Well… on with the show… critique… whatever

First, as said before, the cinematic trailer was far too long, and a bit expositional. Expositional to me, is when a character’s interactions seem forced, artificial. Sometimes it’s not, and just feels that way, but that still means that the player will probably fall asleep when listening.

Secondly, one of the best parts of MMOs is the feature to truly customize your character. In Skyrim I felt more like I was filling out a lab report: bored. The customizations are all the same, and literally do nothing for your character’s appearance.

Thirdly, I think the game’s beginning missions were good, but again I nearly fell asleep when I was trying to get there. Maybe it’s just me but it took far too long to get anywhere on that game. In Star Wars the Old Republic, another MMO there was a speeder bike system that whisked you away at many times the speed of walking. In Skyrim you get a horse.

A SPEEDER BIKE DAMMIT!!!!!

That’s what Skyrim really needed, just dress it up as a dragon, or a magical elf or whatever you want it to be, you’ve obviously put lots of thought into this game.

Fourthly, when I first played this game, I loved it, but the thing was I didn’t know how to do anything. There was no tutorial, no hint, and especially no way to find where you’re going. There was no arrow on your compass, there was just lots of icons to different things that I had no idea what they belonged to.

Finally, I found the weight system stunning! Absolutely brilliant! Except I had no idea what it meant since there was no penalty for going over that I could see.

Actually, I lied, there is just one more thing. NCP’s are way too overpowered! I put on GODMODE and it took me about a day and a half to defeat THREE ENEMIES holding shields.

So that ends my rant, and I hope that you take your Christmas money, go to Best Buy, and DON’T BY THIS GAME. Happy Holidays.

And don’t forget:

JUST ONE SPEEDER BIKE WOULD HAVE MADE THIS SO MUCH BETTER

Er…

Resistance is Futile

Word Count: 564

P.S.

There was one awesome moment in the game, when I hit a friendly, and she responded “Don’t do that again!” and I thought “I wonder if that’s just looped in” so I tried it again, and she killed me. I then was taken to the hospital for busted gut syndrome.

Need for Speed (and a hospital)

Hello Gamers!

Today’s game review will be about Need for Speed: Most Wanted.

This is by far one of the most hilarious games I’ve ever played.

I only say this because I have a hobby, and that is trying to get the police cars to do ridiculously funny things trying to arrest me.
Sometimes this will be smashing into each other

Either way, I bust a gut just watching them topple over hilarious things to get to me; sometimes even causing more trouble than I think I’m worth.

There are some issues I have with the game however.

First, you’re an immortal god, which while it is funny, is sometimes unrealistic. I personally chalk this up as a positive part of the game, but you can take it either way.

Secondly (and these from now on are bad), when cop cars are after you, and you get “busted” there are no repercussions at all. There should be some sort of point value taken away from you when you are busted. It’s similar to Grand Theft Auto five when you die; you just walk out of the hospital Scott free.

Thirdly, the map

I love the map, and I find only one issue with it, and those are fall zones. You can find incredible amounts of places where you just fall off the earth. While this is funny from time to time, during a race it’s really pissing annoying, too.

Fourthly, the cars

There are a wide variety of cars, but I’ve noticed that they all basically handle the same, just at different speeds. You could have ludicrous speed and still have the same handling as if you were going ten miles an hour.

Fifthly, and this kind of goes with number 1, your character doesn’t die from the horrible things you can smash into. What I mean is: you can smash sideways into a wall going over two hundred miles an hour, and your character will simply shake it off… but I suppose if it were more real YOU WOULD NEVER DRIVE AGAIN ANYWAY…

Well, that does it for this critique, see ya next time gamers

Resistance is Futile

Word Count: 361

Etiquette for Gamers

Hello Gamers!

I’ve so enjoyed my time with this new topic.

But today I’d like to try something different.

Well…kind of,

I’ve done it in the past, but instead of movies, or book reading, this etiquette list is about gaming, specifically MMO’s.

When you play a game that is also a multiplayer, I think there ought to be some ground rules. Rules that are unwritten rules, that everyone should use to not be a jerk.

First off, let’s talk about item drops.

If you were the one to kill the enemy- YOU should get the items, so to everybody that up and steals items from kills that were not yours, not only are you an inconsiderate prick, you’re dishonor will inevitably be your downfall.

So to recap, only take items that belong to you.

Second, the group item share.

This is when an item is picked up by one person in a group of players. The item is then offered to all said group players in (usually) three options:

Pass (meaning you don’t  want the item)

Greed  (which tells the computer “hey, I’d like it, but no biggy if I don’t get it)

Finally what every dick player chooses (if he doesn’t talk about it with his group first, or didn’t make the kill) Need (telling the computer “Hey, I really would like this item, could ya give it to me?”)

And it’s fine to pick “Need”, but I think it’s polite to ask first. It doesn’t have to be a lifetime achievement awards for godssakes.

Just a “Hey guys, anyone Need the item?” Short. Simple. To the point. Hell, I’ve seen it expressed even simpler than that. Just “Need?” will work.

Third, the epic mission dropouts.

There are usually some missions in any game that take longer because they have blah blah blah whatever. They are simply long missions, and we love them, but what we don’t like is when your group gets about halfway through  and you see this little message:

“DevonPrickfinger@73882: hey guys. ttyl”… ignore hyperlink I think my computer thinks I’m writing out an email address… comp fail.

But what kind of a jerk leaves half way through? I mean, you showed up, agreed to help out and then you just ditch the group… great.

I especially hate you if you’re a character who’s level is greater than the rest of the group’s levels combined, and leaves us to a mission with same level enemies…

Well, those are my three biggest pet peeves about gaming, and I hope that if you do any of these things, you knock. It. Off. Now.

And as always Gamers

Resistance is Futile.

Batman Arkham Origins Review

Hello Gamers!

Today I’ll be critiquing Batman: Arkham Origins!

Now this game was a great game, full of awesome action, amazing animation, and astonishing amended acts that the voice cast accomplishes affluently.

They not only capture the heart and soul of their roles, but they also sound like they should. What I mean by this is, the characters sound young. Sure you know that they’re young because it tells you so, but it also helps to have a convincingly sounded voice cast working with you.

Now, while I certainly enjoyed my time punching my way through this game, it (as everything does,) had some issues.

First off, I thought the use of another voice actor to play Bruce Wayne was okay, but the person they used was not. He wasn’t Kevin. He wasn’t Bale, thank god, but he was no Kevin. He was scary, but not Conroy scary.

The game was short, also. Previous games have been known for their long story line, and side quests, but this game was severely short in comparison to Asylum, or City.

The plot in itself was genius. Hell, it was marvelous. But because it was short, a feeling shared amongst friends of mine who’ve played the game, I couldn’t help feeling left out. I wanted more. In City, at the end, Batman comes back, stating that there was more to do. This is how I felt at the end of city… but it didn’t happen.

There were many characters that were included, but some only had cameos, and others brief boss battles.

There was no cliff hanger, besides Strange talking about Asylum. There was no Batman saying a final word. There was just a Christmas carol, and the game was over.

Sure you can go out and find all of the Riddler packs, or even brawl your brains out in the fighting simulator to gain accolades.

But all of this is just fat, that I as a gamer tend to cut off. I will occasionally bite into some fat, when tired of the meat.

Not often do I play through a game more than once, but I definitely have played through this one more than once, enjoying it every time.

But who’s to say that I’ve played because of the short plot.

Maybe it’s a good thing, that it is short.

Maybe, the Canadian’s intended it to be short so that you could replay it over and over again, compared to the last games in which it might have taken several weeks to get it done.

I’ll wrap this one up with this, no matter how bad this game was, it was WB Montreal’s first game, so I’ll cut them SOME slack… but let’s hope that the next game will be better.

From all of me have a great week gamers

Resistance is Futile

Word Count: 475