Let’s talk about Skyrim.
I think this is a perfect game
… For me to rip a new one into the fabric of
gaming.
Yes, I don’t care what you say about Skyrim I will
forever hate it.
“What do you hate about it Leif?” You might ask,
well many things make me want to find every copy of this game and destroy them,
but I’ll start out with the big ones.
I find the opening scene far too long, and the
story is honestly boring.
It’s at least five to ten minutes, three of which
you’re sitting in a cart, unable to move your body or your head. I found this
very claustrophobic and annoying.
Once you get out of the cart, you get even more
dialogue. To the point I actually fell asleep playing the game.
Well… on with the show… critique… whatever
First, as said before, the cinematic trailer was
far too long, and a bit expositional. Expositional to me, is when a character’s
interactions seem forced, artificial. Sometimes it’s not, and just feels that
way, but that still means that the player will probably fall asleep when
listening.
Secondly, one of the best parts of MMOs is the
feature to truly customize your character. In Skyrim I felt more like I was
filling out a lab report: bored. The customizations are all the same, and literally
do nothing for your character’s appearance.
Thirdly, I think the game’s beginning missions were
good, but again I nearly fell asleep when I was trying to get there. Maybe it’s
just me but it took far too long to get anywhere on that game. In Star Wars the
Old Republic, another MMO there was a speeder bike system that whisked you away
at many times the speed of walking. In Skyrim you get a horse.
A SPEEDER BIKE DAMMIT!!!!!
That’s what Skyrim really needed, just dress it up
as a dragon, or a magical elf or whatever you want it to be, you’ve obviously
put lots of thought into this game.
Fourthly, when I first played this game, I loved
it, but the thing was I didn’t know how to do anything. There was no tutorial,
no hint, and especially no way to find where you’re going. There was no arrow
on your compass, there was just lots of icons to different things that I had no
idea what they belonged to.
Finally, I found the weight system stunning!
Absolutely brilliant! Except I had no idea what it meant since there was no
penalty for going over that I could see.
Actually, I lied, there is just one more thing. NCP’s
are way too overpowered! I put on GODMODE and it took me about a day and a half
to defeat THREE ENEMIES holding shields.
So that ends my rant, and I hope that you take your
Christmas money, go to Best Buy, and DON’T BY THIS GAME. Happy Holidays.
And don’t forget:
JUST ONE SPEEDER BIKE WOULD HAVE MADE THIS SO MUCH
BETTER
Er…
Resistance is Futile
Word Count: 564
There was one awesome moment in the game, when I hit
a friendly, and she responded “Don’t do that again!” and I thought “I wonder if
that’s just looped in” so I tried it again, and she killed me. I then was taken
to the hospital for busted gut syndrome.
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